Idiotic Rubberbrained Hottie
by roxan1930
Summary: Women a swooning, Luffy's oblivious, the crew is amused and Sanji is about ready to explode. Enjoy!


**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece**

**Idiotic Rubberbrained Hottie**

Sanji growled at the sight before him.

How was this even possible?

He didn't get any of it.

He and the other Straw Hat Pirates had gone to a random bar at a random town at a random island and while he and the others were sharing the biggest table there was, Luffy was sitting at the bar while being surrounded by at least ten gorgeous ladies!

The cook growled louder when the girls swooned at something Luffy said despite him having his mouth full and saying something stupid.

"Awww! Is the little shit-cook a little jealous?" Zoro teased with a huge grin.

Obviously he was enjoying the scene the most despite the others also having amused smiles on their faces.

"Shut the hell up, Marimo!" Sanji yelled angrily at the swordsman who's grin never left.

Turning back to the bar they saw the female bartender give Luffy another plate of food.

"This one is on the house." She said with a wink.

"Really? Thanks a lot!" Luffy beamed up at her, causing her to blush and walk away giggling.

"Hey, this scar here, does it hurt?" a woman with black hair in a messy bun and hazel eyes asked Luffy as she motioned over to the 'X' scar on his chest.

Swallowing a huge mouth full of food Luffy shrugged and casually said "Not anymore."

"Can I… touch it?" a brave girl with short green hair and blue eyes asked, making most of the other ladies gasp.

"Sure. Why not?" Luffy said with a shrug.

Slowly the girl reached her hand over and carefully she caressed the scar over Luffy strong chest.

She and most of the other women sighed dreamily while Luffy just sat there, waiting for her to finish.

"What the hell does he have that I don't?" Sanji murmured to himself but the others heard and started teasing again.

"Well, he's got an innocent aura." Nami started.

"He's funny." Usopp continued.

"He's got cool scars." Chopper added.

"He's friendly to everyone." Brook joined in.

"And with _everyone_ we also mean _men_." Franky explained.

"He is actually really handsome when you look at him in a special way." Robin said with a smile as she looked over at their captain again.

"He doesn't stare at women's boobs and asses." Zoro said.

Then there was a small pause.

"OWWW! SUUUUUPERRRRR BURN!" Franky boomed, sending everyone else except a not amused Sanji into hysterics.

Well, almost everyone as Nami and Robin were at least trying to hide their laughter while Chopper just sat there looking confused.

"I don't get it. Why can't men look at women's chests en behinds?" the little reindeer asked innocently.

"It's a human thing." Robin chuckled as she petted his head.

"Honestly, now that we have put all those things together it really states how charming Luffy-san can be." Brook pointed out.

"Yeah, he's not even trying and yet he's got all kinds of girls falling for him. Like Vivi, Alvida, Hancock and Shirahoshi." Usopp agreed.

"And those chics." Franky added as he pointed with his huge thumb over his shoulder.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" Sanji roared as jealous tears poured down his face.

"A-Ano?" a soft voice suddenly asked from behind Sanji and when he turned around his visible eye turned into a pink heart right away as he came face to face with a beautiful girl with long light blond hair, ice blue eyes, skin as white as porcelain, rosy pink lips and well developed curves which she covered up by a light blue dress that barely even showed any cleavage unlike most woman did.

"Could… Could I ask you something?" she asked shyly as she twirled her thumbs.

"Of course my darling! Please sit down here and ask whatever you want!" Sanji yelled happily as he kicked Usopp out of his chair and gestured for the girl to sit down.

"Hey!" yelled an offended Usopp but the cook simply ignored him.

"No, that's fine. I don't' have to sit." the girl said as she reached her hand out to Usopp and helped him up which earned the sniper a death-glare from Sanji that clearly yelled 'How dare you get touched by such a beauty without dying of happiness?!'.

"Uhm… You wanted to ask us something?" Chopper asked, knowing that sanji would probably kill Usopp if nothing was done.

Sure enough Sanji forgot about Usopp right away and turned back to the girl.

"Y-yes. That guy over there is your captain, right?" she asked as she blushed a bit.

Sanji had to bite down a growl when he heard her start about Luffy and just hoped she was going to ask them to do something about Luffy as the idiot had probably done something stupid again.

"Yes, he is." Robin answered with a mischievous smile, having already figured what was going to happen.

"Do you… By any chance know what kind of girls he is interested in?" the girl then asked with a bright red face.

At that Sanji's jaw hit the ground while the other Straw Hats had to fight to keep themselves from bursting out laughing at the poor girl.

"Our captain usually doesn't really pay attention to girls like that but I think he'd like you." Nami said from behind her hand.

"Well, alright then. Thank you." The girl said politely and was about to make her way towards where Luffy was sitting when Brook called her back asking "Young lady, could I now ask you a question?"

Curiously the girl made her way back to the table and waited for Brook to ask his question.

"May I see your panties?" the skeleton asked his usual question for whenever he met a pretty girl.

Of course the girl screamed as she turned so read it looked like her head was going to explode.

"Forget it, you old pervert!" Nami roared as she kicked Brook in the face.

"Sorry about that. He always does that. Now, about what I said about our captain earlier, you really seem like someone who he would like. Go get him, Tiger!" Nami apologized before gently pushing the girl towards her captain.

"Sanji-san? Are you alright?" Brook asked worriedly as he looked at the cook.

"This cannot be happening." Sanji whined, obviously meaning the fact that a girl just told him right in his face she like _Luffy_ more than him.

"I think he's going to have a super freak-out." Franky whispered to Robin, Zoro and Usopp who nodded.

"Three…" Usopp counted down softly.

"Two…" Zoro joined.

"One…" Robin finished.

"WHAT THE FREAKING HELL IS GOING ON ON THE SHITTY ISLAND?! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SURROUNDED BY HOT WOMEN AND NOT THAT IDIOT! EVERYONE HERE MUST HE RETARTDED TO LIKE HIM THIS MUCH!" Sanji roared and when he calmed down he looked at everyone else at the bar and gulped when he saw Luffy giving him the 'What the fuck, Sanji?' , his other crewmates smirking and pretty much everyone else (AKA the island people) glare at him.

A few hours later Chopper was stressing himself out as he tied bandages about a beat up Sanji who was covered in bruises and bleeding way to much while the others still sat at their table and continued looking at Luffy who was back to eating and chatting with those ladies.

"What… What the hell happened?" Sanji asked weakly.

"Sanji! You're awake!" the little reindeer yelled in relief.

"And for your question, Luffy just saved you ass so you better be thankful of him." Zoro said before taking another sip from his booze.

"Wait. What?" Sanji asked in confusion.

"You pissed the people here super off so they started beating you up but then Luffy jumped in and offered they could beat him up instead of you and that made those chics swoon." Franky explained.

"What?!" Sanji roared as he sat up.

"Ahhh! Sanji be careful!" Chopper yelled worriedly.

"Just face it, Sanji-kun." Nami said with a smirk.

"Luffy is just an idiotic rubberbrained hottie.

**The End**

**Please review and read my other stories!**


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